


Bunbert

by 2x2verse (agent_florida)



Series: Adoptedstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cute, Domestic, F/F, F/M, Kid Fic, M/M, Multi, babies!!!, did i mention babies!!!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 11:31:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/526825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_florida/pseuds/2x2verse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The saying was true. First comes love, then comes marriage, then… well, then there’s a whole lot of terrifying ectobiological experiments and asking for help from friends and family and fighting with the government.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bunbert

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a little riff of an idea I've been working with on Tumblr, with some illustrations by rufinoski: http://rufinoski.tumblr.com/post/32655935895/whoremouthmccrabby-rufinoski

John put down his cell phone and turned to Dave. There was a smile on his face, but not the one Dave was used to. “Jade wants to have lunch,” he said.

There had to be more he was leaving off of the end of that sentence. “And…?” Dave prodded him.

The smile shattered. “She didn’t say.”

“Oh.” Dave was actually nervous. Of course he couldn’t show it – John needed him to be cool and collected. But it was sort of an awkward proposition, and she more than likely was going to tell them no.

They’d been married for a few years now. It still felt odd to Dave, some mornings, that he woke up with a ring on his left hand and a very snuggly John Egbert pressed into his back. Almost thirteen years, now – thirteen years since they’d first met. Twelve years since the world ended, and twelve years since everyone got a new start. Eight years since they’d started ‘doing the dating thing,’ as Dave had oh-so-eloquently asked John. Three years since they’d officially moved in, both of them moving to Seattle to stop the insane transportalizer commuting. Two years now they’d been married.

And the saying was true. First comes love, then comes marriage, then… well, then there’s a whole lot of terrifying ectobiological experiments and asking for help from friends and family and fighting with the government. All of it was frustrating. Maybe too frustrating. More than once, Dave had been discouraged, but every single time he told John “maybe it isn’t worth it,” John had always been there to reassure him that sometimes these things just take time. And of course, the Knight of Time was too impatient to wait any longer.

So he kind of maybe just a little went behind John’s back to talk to Jade and ask her for a giant favor.

Jade needed some time to think about it. She had looked so confused, so concerned – like she wanted to help but didn’t know how, even though he’d told her exactly what he – what they – wanted. If she wanted to have lunch, that meant she’d made up her mind.

\--

Jade was always smiling. Always. No matter what. But something about her expression was a little out of the ordinary. Dave could hardly put food in his mouth and she was just putting away that steak like it was her job. (Who even ate steak for lunch?)

Finding things to talk about was terrible. All three of them at that table knew what they wanted to say, what they wanted to hear, and none of it was happening. Fine. Dave would break the silence. “So what’s the special occasion?” he asked his sister-in-law. “Something has to be happening that you’d rub elbows with us in the continental US.”

“Well, I…”

“Spit it out from behind those buck teeth, Harley, we’re dying to hear.”

“Shut up, Dave.” It was amazing. Three words from John, and he fell silent immediately. “Jade,” he continued, and he actually grabbed his sister’s hand over the table to show how serious he was, “it’s okay if you say you can’t do it, just tell us.”

She reached over the table to clutch Dave’s hand. Bad news, then. Dave braced himself, closing his eyes behind his shades where neither of them could see, and John’s fingers threaded between his. It was like some strange kind of prayer circle, all of them trying to will this into reality, and maybe some prayers got an answer of ‘no’ no matter how many times you asked.

Jade squeezed Dave’s hand, hard, and he could see she was gripping onto John just as hard. “I’m pregnant!” she squealed.

“What – how –” It didn’t matter. John actually knocked over his chair in his rush to stand and hug Jade, and Dave – Dave sat there, mouth gaping open, eyes open but unseeing. “John, what…?” he tried.

Oh, god, that prankster’s grin was on his face; that was not a good sign. “I sent her the experiments,” he said, his voice warm before he kissed Jade’s cheek. “Told her how to do everything.”

Dave was still shocked into stillness. He was doing something with his mouth akin to a fish out of water gasping for air. “So wait, you – you actually – you pissed on a stick and everything, you’re not shitting me, you’re not shitting us right now, you really got a little Bunbert in your oven?”

All she could do was nod and giggle. Her hands were shaking as she reached into her bag and pulled out the test. Dave just turned it over and over in his hands. This was real. This was tangible proof. “It’s a little Strider bun, too,” she reminded Dave, tousling his hair a little.

Dave, usually the one with too many words tripping out of his mouth over his tongue, was absolutely speechless. “Jade,” he said softly. Then he was joining the other two in their massive hug, and maybe he might have been crying a little but it didn’t matter, all of them were.

\--

For being so in control of time, Dave lost track of it. For a while, if not longer.

Jade blossomed. That was the only word he could think of that would really describe it. Her belly swelled, and she glowed with happiness. She kept saying she felt like she was going to explode with love. Dave supposed it was true. It was the literal combination of earth, wind, and fire, with Jade as the cultivator of their little spark.

Dave was with her when she went to her appointments. He was the first to know it was a girl. From then on, in the space between sex and sleep, or waking up and washing up, Dave and John would mumble names at each other. It started out playful, but as the months wore on, Dave got that feeling under his skin that this was real. This was really happening. He and his husband were trying to name their daughter. When it sank in, he spent an entire day buried in his music, trying not to think about all the things he was feeling.

Music wasn’t going to be his only baby any more.

Jade and Karkat had John and Dave over for Chinese and horror flicks one night when Jade sat bolt-upright and let out a little noise of alarm. Karkat had been the one falling over himself to help her, but Jade had shooshed him pointedly, a grin coming out on her face when she announced the little Bunbert just kicked. John and Karkat both had poked fun at Dave for hours at how hard he was trying not to smile.

Near the end of May, Jade started looking like she was about to pop at any second. She came to stay with John and Dave, because, as she put it, it was “too fucking hot” in her tower on her island for her to stand it. Both of them had treated her like a princess – if she needed anything, it was hers, almost before she opened her mouth.

Now, though – now they were rushing to the hospital, and Jade’s face was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, and her complexion was far too pale, and she kept breathing harshly and biting her lip with those absurd buck teeth. Karkat was driving like a troll possessed, because John and Dave hadn’t been able to decide who should stay with Jade in the backseat. They settled for each holding a hand, practically arm-wrestling with Jade every single time she went through a contraction. It worked out pretty well, in that sense. She needed both of them to hold onto while she went through the hell they’d wanted.

Karkat was there too, running back and forth for ice chips. After a few frantic, garbled texts, Rose and Kanaya deigned to make an appearance; Kanaya couldn’t seem to stop staring at Jade, almost in a pervy way, until Rose reminded Dave that the troll didn’t understand how human females were able to give birth. It was interesting, having two space aspects in the same room – the two women seemed to balance one another, create a zen zone that no one else could really penetrate.

For his part, Dave was glad his sister was there. Rose kept him calm by babbling at him about god knew what, and it almost sailed completely over his head when she told him she was engaged. There was too much love in this little room, and Dave felt like his chest was going to explode. And the little bun wasn’t even here yet.

It took hours. Hours and hours. Dave felt awful – like the thread of time was there for him to manipulate, only he couldn’t touch it for fear of everything unraveling and falling apart. All he could do was kiss the back of Jade’s hand as she tried to crush his fingers. Every time his and John’s eyes met, there was something soft yet determined there that he didn’t quite recognize. John was going to be a great dad – Dave had always known that.

And suddenly, Dave didn’t feel ready at all.

But the little one was coming, whether he willed it or no, and after thirteen hours and four minutes of labor, she was there. Everyone was exhausted, no one more so than Jade, and she started openly crying as the obstetrician laid the newborn on her chest for her to hold. The baby was the ugliest, most beautiful thing Dave had ever seen, and then Jade rubbed the baby’s back until her face wasn’t so blue and the tips of those little fingers curled and uncurled and Dave was in love.

Everyone was pressed close around the bed, practically shoulder to shoulder with one another as they looked at this little life thrust suddenly into their midst. “What is her name?” Kanaya asked slowly.

“Millicent,” Dave blurted out. To his surprise, no one laughed. Looking down at that little tiny thing with the black curls already on her head, the name seemed perfect for her. He’d picked it out only a few months ago, but he only won the right to name her by wrestling John for it. (He lost in other respects. Hadn’t been able to sit right for a week. Worth it, though. Everyone got what they wanted in the end.)

Jade helped John to wrap Millicent in a cloth, and then Dave was holding her. She was perfect. Her little eyes were scrunched shut, and her feet and fists kept waving. One of them bonked him on the nose, and he didn’t even try to hide his smile. “Millicent Egbert,” Jade whispered. She sounded so worn out.

“Millicent Jade Egbert,” John corrected her quietly. “For her Aunt Jade.” It was at that point that Jade actually started weeping out of gratitude, and she turned her head into Karkat’s chest as he hugged her around the shoulders and stroked her back.

John reached out, and Dave realized he was hogging his daughter. Their daughter. He was afraid to hand it over – how was he supposed to hold her, anyway? – but John took her effortlessly in hand, holding her like he was made to do it. Seeing him like that, with their child in his arms, made something go a little sideways in Dave’s everything, and he’d never been more proud to have John in his life. He had to push up the bottom rim of his aviators to get something out of his eye. Rose, wisely, didn’t comment on that. “You can’t call her Millicent, David, that’s too much. Even for you.”

“You’re right.” Dave’s voice came out a little too choked for his comfort, but he hid his emotions by yanking Rose close with a brotherly arm around her shoulders. “We’ll just call her Mutie instead.”

There was a long moment of silence. It was three in the morning, and none of them were as young as they used to be. Still, it wasn’t a bad silence. Little Mutie was sleeping already, safe in John’s arms, and the doctor had to gently pry the newborn away so they could get all of the paperwork completed.

Dave had to say words. He always felt the need to say words. But these words would actually be important. No more talking about the size of Jupiter or plush puppets. He was a man grown now. A father. Oh, shit, that little girl would be calling him Daddy as soon as she could talk. He quashed that thought down – he couldn’t start crying now. “Y’know,” he managed to say, though he kept his voice pretty low to hide his emotions, “it’s not every kid who grows up with two dads, three aunts, and an uncle.”

“Wait, hold up, bulgesmear –”

“Language,” Kanaya told Karkat. “Please try not to frighten the child.”

“She’s not even here,” the other troll pointed out, but his shoulders sank in defeat anyway. “I’m – I’m going to be an uncle.” He licked his lips, like the sentence felt strange coming out of his mouth. “I’m an uncle,” he repeated. “What’s an uncle?”

“Shh,” Rose whispered softly. Everyone turned to her, then followed her eyes. Jade was asleep. The doctors rolled little Mutie, wrapped up in white and looking like an angel, into the room so she could rest next to her aunt.

Rose gave Dave a peck on the cheek, then took her leave, holding hands with Kanaya as they plotted out the rest of their night. (Nocturnal. Dave rolled his eyes.) Karkat, at first, refused to go; the doctors told him he couldn’t stay in the room, so he settled for one of the uncomfortable chair-bench-couches in the waiting room, curling in on himself and sleeping with a smile on his face. John and Dave had the most uncomfortable half-nap in the world on the fold-out mattress that came out of the couch in Jade’s room.

Mutie woke up, squalling, and Dave jerked out of bed before he realized Jade was already taking care of it. Something sad was in her eyes when she tugged aside her gown to feed little Mutie. “Are you gonna be okay?” Dave asked her.

“Yeah,” she answered, perhaps a little too quickly. “I’m still her aunt, right?”

Dave knew where she was going with this. He closed the distance between them, kissed Jade on the forehead, and laid a protective hand over Mutie. “You can visit whenever you want,” he told her. He hadn’t realized it would be this hard on Jade to watch her baby – their baby – go home with someone else.

But home she went. After dropping off the Egberts, Karkat gathered Jade’s things from the nursery, and Dave caught him grinning like a doofus and mumbling ‘uncle’ to himself before he absconded to continue taking care of Jade. John couldn’t seem to let go of his – their – daughter, bouncing her in his arms a little as he paced around the room. But once she was asleep, he had to lay her down in the white crib, tucking her pink crocheted cap over her head.

Dave couldn’t stand it. He turned into John’s open arms, hugged him around the shoulders, and bawled his fucking eyes out as quietly as he could manage.


End file.
